Question me
Asking for help at work can be a challenging task for many of us. We might be worried about appearing incompetent or bothering our colleagues, but it’s important to remember that everyone needs help at some point in their careers. The key is to learn how to ask for help in a way that is effective and respectful.
As a software engineer, I have seen firsthand how asking for help can make a difference in a project’s success. However, I have also seen how a poorly framed question can cause confusion and delays. It’s not just about asking the right question, but also about how you ask it.
For example, a junior engineer might approach a senior colleague with a statement like, “I’m not able to do this.” While this might convey their struggle with the task, it doesn’t provide any context or information about what they have tried so far. Instead, framing the question differently, such as “Can you help me with this? I have tried X, Y, and Z but am still running into issues,” can be more effective. This approach shows that the junior engineer has put in effort and has a specific question, making it easier for the senior colleague to provide assistance.
Sorry, what?
Effective communication is not only about how you ask for help but also about building trust and assertiveness in your interactions. Being transparent about your struggles and open to feedback can build trust with your colleagues. Being assertive in asking for help can demonstrate that you are invested in the project’s success and willing to do what it takes to achieve it.
It’s also important to remember that asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of growth and learning. In fact, being proactive about seeking guidance can show initiative and dedication to one’s work. It’s also a way to avoid costly mistakes and ensure that projects are completed on time.
Tips
If you’re unsure about how to ask for help, consider these tips:
1. Be specific: When asking for help, provide context and specific details about what you have tried and what isn’t working.
2. Be respectful: Approach colleagues with respect and appreciation for their time and expertise.
3. Be open to feedback: Listen to feedback and be willing to make adjustments based on the guidance provided.
4. Be assertive: Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it, and follow up if necessary.
5. Build trust: Be transparent about your struggles and be willing to collaborate with others to find solutions.
From the books
Over the years, various authors have written about the importance of asking for help and how to do it in a way that brings clarity and builds trust. Let’s take a look at some of the examples from different books written by famous authors.
In the book “Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High,” authors Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler discuss the importance of being clear and concise when asking for help. They state that when asking for help, it’s important to describe the problem in a way that the listener can understand. For example, instead of saying, “I’m having trouble with the project,” say, “I’m having difficulty getting the software to run on this operating system. Can you help me troubleshoot?”
In the book “The Five Dysfunctions of a Team,” author Patrick Lencioni emphasizes the importance of building trust and vulnerability within a team. He explains that asking for help can be a vulnerable act, but it’s essential for the success of the team. By asking for help, team members can rely on each other’s strengths and work together to overcome obstacles. Lencioni suggests that team members should be open and honest about their shortcomings and ask for help when needed. By doing so, they can build trust and strengthen their relationships with each other.
Conclusion
In conclusion, asking for help is an important part of any job, and learning how to do it effectively can improve the quality of our work and relationships with our colleagues. As software engineers, we must learn to ask for help in a way that demonstrates our dedication, assertiveness, and respect for others. By doing so, we can build trust and achieve success in our projects.
