Have you ever found yourself saying, “I’ll be happy when…”? Maybe it’s “I’ll be happy when I get that promotion” or “I’ll be happy when I lose 10 pounds.” Many of us fall into the trap of deferring/ procrastinating happiness, constantly chasing after the next milestone or achievement. But what if this pursuit of happiness is making us miserable?
Could you be inducing deferred happiness syndrome in your life?
In a world where instant gratification reigns supreme, the concept of deferred happiness has become increasingly prevalent. The idea suggests that individuals are constantly waiting for a better future, believing that their current life is just a prelude to a perfect tomorrow that may never come. From the relentless pursuit of career milestones to the perpetual quest for material possessions, many of us fall victim to this insidious syndrome without even realizing it.
— Oliver Burkeman
But what if the key to true happiness lies not in tomorrow’s promises, but in embracing the imperfections of today?
What if I told you there is a blander version of happiness that each one of us could get right here right now? It's by accepting uncertainty and imperfections, that we as individuals can shift our focus from future goals to meaningful experiences in the present. Our challenges become the capes that we wear proudly.
This is what I believe in:
Rather than finding pride in being a good future planner, finding pride and building self-confidence from past evidences that you are endure this challenging life, will make you 100x better at finding joy and fulfilment.
The Illusion of Future Happiness
In our fast-paced society, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that happiness lies just around the corner, waiting for that next promotion, relationship, or material possession. However, research suggests that our brains are wired to adapt quickly to new circumstances, leading to a phenomenon known as the “hedonic treadmill.”
Unlike the treadmill at the gym, this one is not quite the healthy kind. The hedonic treadmill keeps us in a perpetual cycle of striving for more, yet never truly attaining lasting happiness or fulfilment.
The Weight of Deferred Happiness: Mental Health Effects
“The future is promised to no one. Live for today.”
— Wayne Dyer
Constantly postponing happiness can take a toll on our mental well-being. Studies have linked deferred happiness to increased stress, anxiety, and depression. Research conducted by psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky at the University of California, Riverside, highlights the detrimental effects of constantly striving for future goals while neglecting present enjoyment [Lyubomirsky, S. (2007). The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want. New York: Penguin Books].
Similarly, a study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies found that individuals who frequently engage in upward social comparisons, comparing themselves to others who appear to have achieved more, are more likely to experience dissatisfaction and depression [Gollwitzer, M., & Rothmund, T. (2009). When the Going Gets Tough, the Need for Cognition Gets Going: The Moderating Role of Egocentric Comparison in Social Comparisons. Journal of Happiness Studies, 10(4), 419–428.].
Breaking the Cycle and Cultivating Contentment
“Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like and celebrating it for everything that it is.”
— Mandy Hale
The good news is that we can break free from the grip of Deferred Happiness Syndrome. Practising mindfulness and gratitude can help us savour the present moment and find joy in everyday experiences. Setting realistic goals and celebrating small victories can also foster a sense of accomplishment and contentment. By shifting our focus from the future to the present, we can reclaim our happiness and live more fulfilling lives.
Recent scientific research suggests that true happiness stems not from external achievements, but from internal fulfilment. Cultivating meaningful relationships, pursuing passions, and engaging in acts of kindness can all contribute to a deeper sense of satisfaction. By embracing who we are and finding purpose in the present moment, we can experience lasting happiness that transcends fleeting achievements.
It's up to you to decide at this point to either be nihilistic about it or recognize it, treat it with effective measures and change your perspective on life forever!
